So I got this idea off a piece I read, I thought it may just be therapeutic. So it got me thinking, if I had a chance to sit before the girl I was, what will I tell her? So I decided to write her this letter…
I have many things to tell you. For starters, I am known as TeeWai this days, I bet you didn’t see that one coming. I hope you think it’s cute?
Recently, on my bbm (that is a telephone device that connects me to all my valued friends), I asked if they felt you will be proud of the woman I have become, I got a lot of feedback from loved ones. Many people actually affirmed that you will be and they reminded me many reasons why. So I will gist you about a few.
Let me first say that half the things you feared never happened. Plus, the society has changed, most things you held dear are now termed ‘old school’. Your best dress is laughable this days or at best referred to as ‘vintage’. So, back to your fears… you know how you hate heights, always felt like you will slip down or fall off? Well, I look down heights confidently this days and have lost that fear or the most of it at least. In many other ways I must admit, I am not half as bold and confident as you were on many other issues. I still have a big mouth though…me and my big mouth!
The things that will surprise you; I don’t sing like really sing anymore, I wouldn’t even let anyone sitting beside me hear my voice. I am sorry, I know how much that meant to you and how much you planned to ensure the world heard your message through music. You can be rest assured I haven’t lost the passion for listening to good music though. I discovered writing, it became my escape, my passion, my therapy and that too these days I rarely do. Don’t feel bad just yet, I found some other things you never thought you were capable of. An example; drama. I use all the tools you developed performing for a one man audience (plus all your imaginary characters included…lol). Also, I got married earlier than you envisaged. I have a little you, only she is prettier (I know you’ll smile). When I look at her, I see your eyes, your wit, compassion and trust in the world around you, tomboyish tendencies…she has them all plus ‘jara’.
Habits that have not changed; I can arrange for the globe! Don’t get me started on how I see things to organize and place properly everywhere I turn. Of course I still make faces in front of the mirror. Craving parboiled rice is still a norm, I just stop myself from eating it. I still hate fish just as you do, but I have greatly improved on feeding (still slim o! laughs)
Honestly, I have failed you more times than I’ll have loved to, but I have also made you proud, done things you feared…I did them afraid. Having been through the toughest situations that I know you never could have imagined, I am still standing. The details are gist for another day.
My faith; that too I stumble, walk, crawl, run, crawl, I make sure not to stop trusting and believing in the God who makes this crazy world make sense to me. I know you were never a fan of fairy tales, same here! But I manage to walk people around me through the realistic happy endings.
My resolve; some of those dreams you had I am yet to live up to. Please give me time, I intend to at least make an effort. Also to remember to take care of me, be mindful of you, knowing that I owe it to us to die empty having done all possible to make a difference. I intend to set in motion a chain of change, change that will outlive you and I. Lastly and very importantly, I love you, I should say that more often.
From the woman you have become.