DIARY SERIES – On Becoming The Husband I

IMage - Diary

The grass is greener on the other side or so I thought. This words recently reiterated by Adekunle Gold’s “Ire”. It reminded me of how this was my reality for 20 years in my marriage. I had been at my best friend’s wedding, happy for him, excited to be the best man, repeatedly hitting on the Chief Brides Maid and eventually getting her to look my way. With several bottles and the high of the moment, we had our night of passion and in 9 months, I was to become a Father, totally disinterested in the woman pregnant with my child and regretting drinking so much that night.

Bee girl was my sweetheart, the one woman I had spent every day waiting to be able to afford to propose to. Now that I could, I was stuck with this dilemma. As I sat across the room, I looked long and hard at Fiyin; exhausted, heavily pregnant and probably alone through the pain, shame and strain on her body all these months. Ashamed of how I had denied the first time she called me and cut her off before she could go any further. Somehow I wondered why she kept the baby, if it was meant to trap me. She had a blank stare as if in a different place. For the first time I wondered if she had her own sweetheart before our night together, how much her life had changed.  Without thinking any further, I cleared my throat and said, Thank you all for coming, I will marry the mother of my child and do right by her.

My heart sunk, a soft smile formed on her face and disappeared before I could figure out what it meant. My mother looked my way shocked at my decision as she had spent the last one week trying to make me see reasons why marrying her was best for everyone. It was my mistake; I was not going to make another one…TO BE CONTINUED

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