The words of wisdom kept playing back, I had spoken it time and time again, and at a time when I thought I had the answers and knew the script. I just couldn’t see a way through the mess no matter how many times I said the words; it wasn’t always like this…
The choices were countless, the opportunities innumerable. Faces, voices, sizes and vices all differed, yet I found not one amidst the crowd, not even one! Weird, strange, confused, obsessed, such as these was I known as at the time, but in my mind’s eye I was a ‘She’ to someone somewhere and I lived my dream not wanting to fear that I lost the cause, the path I had chosen and had become entrapped in. I thought; it won’t always be like this…
Would have sworn it wasn’t me, the pain tore through all my very being and the words failed me. Was convinced I was beyond recovery till He showed up. Suddenly, I knew I won’t always feel like this…
Would have screamed at the thought of treading the very grounds that stole my joy, but like baby steps, He urged me to live a day per time and it was slow at first, then the growth began till it was all consuming and I knew this wasn’t the old path, it was a fresh walk and a new dawn. Consistently He took me there and I love this place. It all made sense, the years, names, faces, gains, pains….. it was all to get here.
So I dare say…, He loved me, till I loved.

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2 Thoughts to “HE LOVED, TILL I LOVED.”

  1. NNNMMMM…Emotion erupted!…can't help but cry a little bit…Life must have dealt you serious emotional difficulties…I can feel your heartbeat in every lines coz I was there before and so many times….but come, u finally made it!..congratulations!

    However, u must still need to have to expatiate upon your thoughts…why?…I looked at this piece through double lenses…I can't wait Toyin!

  2. Well, I guess I can say I have 'always' been there so I know how large a chunk of you went into this.
    This (and the story behind it) goes to the very foundation of my belief that love is neither a feeling nor a fleeting passion. It is a permanent state of mind. Thus if it dies somewhere along the way, it never was love.
    It is a factual but faith-testing assertion made by your soul that someone is the way you see them, beautiful, despite and in spite of everything that makes them unbeautiful.
    It is closing your eyes so your mind can see beyond the physical dimensions that limit love so often.
    And perhaps one of the defining characteristic of love is patience. If it really is love, it will wait beyond expectation.
    Heard of a guy who kept after this one lady for 10 years. There had to be real love somewhere in his heart for her, I think.

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