I often hear ladies ask one another…. “Is he the one?” as in the right person? So i think that is where the problem begins. Who is the right person? tall, dark and handsome, the similitude of Prince charming in the Cinderella story? Someone who will make your heart beat faster? someone whose smile can take your breath away? I beg to differ, maybe because i have seen case of supposedly rite person+ rite person= bad marriage,terrible home while wrong person+wrong person= good home and healthy marriage. Could it be that the two “wrong people” showed the right actions towards each other and ended up with a happy home and the two right people thought it was okay to be right for each other and did not sow good actions to each other?
My conclusion, when it comes to relationships and marriages, i will suggest the ladies tone down on the”fantasy man” search and look to be found by the one who treats you right and shows you regard and is willing to be by you all the way, love is a choice not a feeling,so love him back and see where it takes you, same goes to the men who are looking for big boobs,J’Lo shaped, perfect IQ, good cook,take home to mama ladies…. You might want to tone that down a little.
In a nutshell, please be with someone for the right reasons and be sure to live life realistically not like its a movie or a dream. Ciao!

11TH JUNE 2010

Related posts


  1. jo

    i think when people ask if he is the one what they really want to know is if despite all his flaws and shortcomings he still makes u happy.
    As for the tall, dark and handsome, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder …. ur partner should be your epitome of tall, dark and handsome because u know them more than anyone else and their beauty within counts more than anything else.
    lastly i think its a combination of the right person, right actions and wisdom

  2. God gave us a good heart so we can love and a good Head for wisdom. Both go hand in hand. These days people lay emphasis on the minor things ignoring the 'weightier matters' we tend to look for Beauty, Swagger, How wadded, Fashion sense, how presentable is he or she etc. Weightier things like the Fear of God, Values/ethics, conviction, a teachable heart and being real!are often overlooked today, and these are vital ingredients that will make relationships work. Time wont permit me to expound on the above listed now, but i promise to talk about them soon. Other qualities that can be cultivated and will make a tremendously healthy relationship includes Ability to Forgive easily,Understanding,Patience, Staunch and immovable supporter of your partner,and a good sense of Humour.

  3. I believe that in life even the best of us is still all there is. we are carried away most often than not by our ideas of what is and what isn't. T.D Jakes said there is bad in the good of us and there is good in the worst of us. Right or wrong… we know somewhere in us..God said to Cain.. if you did what was right wouldn't you have known?

  4. I think the big boobs,J'Lo shaped, perfect IQ, good cook,take home to mama lady will definitely elicit the right actions 98 percent of the time. Lol.
    But seriously, the thing about love and relationships is, to get the most of it, you have to give it your all. Love isn't 50-50. It is 100-100. You gotta give it your all.
    Like the old saying goes, the world loves a lover. In other words, those who give love never lack love.
    And then there's also the less talked-about problem of the ladies not trying hard enough anymore as soon as they get their man. Guys do the same to a lesser degree.
    Where you used to dress to catch his eye, and smell nice, and pay attention to the other's needs, and listen when they needed you to, and keep a clean house, and pamper, and make meals, now there's only just mediocrity. The thinking is: he's already mine so I don't have to go extra lengths anymore.
    Do you know how many women are actively or passively trying to steal your partner at work? He sees all these smartly dressed, slim, sleek, ladies looking cute, trying to impress him all the time,crushing on him, paying attention to his every word like it was the very air they breathed.
    and at the end of the day he comes home to an overweight wife lying on the sofa in an old gown, watching tv, hair scattered, face oily, make-up untidy, nails not manicured with peeling nail polish and cold water for a bath.
    what's the moral of the sermon? The right actions can, and often breeds love even where none previously would have grown.

Leave a Comment