There used to be a time when I will get into frantic arguments choosing to see the light at the end of the tunnel, other times I sought and created justification for the mindless corruption that we wallow in. Other times I cry, in my heart at least and pray for change as farfetched as it appears. I have gone past weeping; because I have my realities staring me in the face after I wipe the tears.
The pain is not new, it’s just all too familiar and never goes away, that used to unnerve me; these days I am just numb. I read the headlines and ignore the content because it is yet another celebration of corruption or an open show of man’s inhumanity to man.
How can optimal electricity, education, health, mean so little and mindless feuds and ambition for more power in the midst of power for a time that you are yet to ascertain you will live to see mean more? How can any one person have the power to make change and choose the cowardice of chasing shadows and running in circles over actually getting the job done? How can we fix the problem when the decadence is perpetuated by all who hold even a second of power from the least to the greatest? How can one man wake up at 4am to earn a meagre income he spends on going to the same job where it is earned while another sits on so much wealth with influence and is untouched by the labourer and his labour feigning ignorance?
The places of worship used to be the place we got a sense of belonging and touched a glimpse of peace. Nowadays men of God represent different things to different people. Many flee and never look back; seeking answers beyond the border believing enslavement in a foreign land is far more honourable than slavery in one’s home. I don’t dare judge as there is not much to come back to.
In all of this I realise I may choose to be different and may never get awarded or even noticed, yet I consciously make that choice every day. Why? You may ask. Pretty simple, I desire to remind those to come that in all the choking filth and debauchery that I carved a niche for myself; I chose the path of hard work and reward and every luxury I have, I earned. I want them to know I had no magic wand to wish it all away; I refused to be a part of the problem either. Neither shortening my life span worrying about the things I have no power to change. Instead, I recognise the sovereignty of the one thing that reveals our humanity; the uncertainty of tomorrow. So I wine and dine with God who sits over and knows it all. There! At that very point I finally feel it, the peace in the chaos, and the sanity in folly…..yes closure.
Toyin Seth-Ogungbemi(nee Makun)